Moin, ich soll in Englisch in der nächsten Stunde drei Witze vortragen. Hab mal ein bisschen recherchiert und mir mal ne Top 10 zusammengestellt, kann mich aber nicht entscheiden. Welchen findet ihr am besten?
1. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
2. When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
3. My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?
4. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
5. A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
6. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
7. Turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
8. I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
9. A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend." The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better." "Thanks Dad," the son says. The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
10. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.
