Englisch?
Könnte jemand bitte wieder über meinen Text drüber schauen? Es geht wieder um einen Tag in dem Bildungszentrum. Danke!
,,When we arrived there on the fifth day, we had to go to our maintenance group/department (Gewerk?) immediately because we already knew which group we belonged to. At first, we had to start forming the dough into small balls for the Cakepops. The dough was dough of a marble cake which we had baked the day before. It was pretty hard because they weren‘t allowed to have cracks in it and the dough didn‘t form into a ball because it always fell apart which was very annoying. It didn‘t matter what I tried. Then the manager helped me and after that I managed it myself. We put them into a freezer and while they were getting cold, we were cleaning the kitchen. I had to wipe the kitchen counters by using a cleaning cloth and then we had to use a water hole to wet the floor. Next we took a scrubber and a water squeegee to clean it. It was quite difficult to clean it because you had to be strong to clean every dirty spot on the floor. The water squeegee was very hard to use because you had to exert extreme strength to clean it correctly. After that, when the cakepops were colder, we dipped them into hot chocolate and we decorated them by using sprinkles. Then we put them into the fridge and we had to do the same things again, so cleaning the kitchen. After we had finally managed it, the day was already over. As a reward, we ate the cakepops outside.
1 Antwort
Hallo,
ich habe mir wieder deinen Text angesehen und Verbesserungen und Verbesserungsvorschläge durch Fettdruck hervorgehoben. Vermeide "by using", wenn ein einfaches "with" reicht! Eine englische Textgestaltungsregel: KISS = Keep it short and simple! Achte auch immer auf klare Bezüge deiner Pronomina (it, they ...).
When we arrived there on the fifth day, we had to go to our departments immediately because we already knew which group we belonged to. At first, we had to start forming roll the dough into small balls for the cakepops. The dough was dough for a marble cake which we had baked the day before. It was pretty difficult (sonst könnte man glauben, du wollest sagen, der Teig sei ziemlich hart gewesen ...) because they the balls weren‘t allowed supposed to have any cracks (in them), and but the dough didn‘t form into a ball (besser: the dough wouldn’t keep its ball shape) because it always fell apart, no matter how hard I tried, which was very annoying.
It didn‘t matter what I tried. (diesen Satz / Gedanken würde ich bereits im Satz vorher einfügen) Then the manager (manager = Geschäftsführer(in) – finde ich hier merkwürdig. War es wirklich der/die Geschäftsführerin?) helped me and after that I managed it myself.
We put them the balls into a freezer and while they were getting cold, we were cleaning the kitchen. I had to wipe the kitchen counters by using with a cleaning cloth, and then we had to use a water hole to wet the floor (ein Wasserloch, um den Boden nass zu machen? Wie muss ich mir das denn vorstellen? ). Next we took a scrubber and a water squeegee to clean it. (Ich würde nach „cleaning cloth” einen Punkt machen, und dann die folgenden Sätze zu einem verbinden: Then we had to wet the floor and clean it with a scrubber and a squeegee.) It was quite difficult to clean it because you had to be strong (ergänze: and scrub terribly hard) to clean remove every dirty spot on the floor. The water squeegee was very hard to use because you had to exert extreme strength force to clean it correctly (Meinst du jetzt weiterhin den Boden oder die Säuberung des Flitschers?).
After that, when the cakepops were colder cold enough, we dipped them into hot chocolate and we decorated them by using with sprinkles. Then we put them into the fridge and we had to do the same things again, so cleaning the kitchen again. After we had finally managed it When we finished cleaning the kitchen, the day was already over. As a reward, we ate the cakepops outside.
LG
Dankeschön, dass du dir immer so viel Mühe machst! :)