Cartoon Analysis Globalization?
Hallo, kann jemand meine Cartoon Analysis korrigieren und mir vielleicht ein paar Tipps dazu geben?
This is a cartoon drawn by Kat J.Weiss, published on 12/5/19 on www.istockphoto.com and it deals with the issue of fast fashion. What is noticeable at the first glance is that the artist presents a serious topic in a simple and ironic way.The scene depicts an abstract situation in a third world country in comparison to an industrialising country. On the right, there is appearing a western women which is underlined by the clothes she is wearing. Moreover, you can easily notice a poisonous river in the left part of the picture. Another significant aspect is the center of the picture which shows us a large billboard with a caption above it which reads "THIS COULD BE U". Behind the billboard, there is sitting a women working on a sewinh machine. Her facial expression seems to be exhausted and tired. Especially striking are the bright colours that the artist used.The artist creates a negative atmosphere towards the aspect that we are not aware of where and under which conditions our fashion is produced This will be shown in detail in the following talk. The artist refers to a well known global issue such as fast fashion. Furthermore, he strongly criticises our lack of awareness about fast fashion.First of all, you can clearly notice that the artist tries to draw the audiences attention to the fact that the scene depicts the horrendous and miserable working conditions of people who produce fashion by representing the womens facial expression. From her facial expression you can conclude how exhausted and frustrated she must be. That is exactly how the cartoon is supposed to make us overthink our attitude towards fast fashion. Moreover, the artist makes use of bright colours. Ultimately, common sense indicates that the colours are used to make the cartoon more vivid which clarifies the Intent of the cartoon which is to raise the People`s awareness for fast fashion. A further significant aspect is that the artist attempts to win us over to his side by triggering our emotions. This becomes more apparent while looking closely at the water colours from river which shows us how many chemicals are inside the water. That is why we become compassionate with the local citizens.
In conclusion I can express that the artists conveys his intention impeccably and extremely effectively from my point of view. Without any doubt the artist exactly knows how to trigger the audiences emotions properly. I also assume that he wants us to see fast fashion as horrible and horrendous. Moreover, he absolutely convinces me by his impeccably used visual elements which make sure we cannot misunderstand his concisely communicated message. Additionally I believe that his criticism is justified due to the fact that we are accountable as customers for the future of employees in the fashion industry. So it`s our mandatory duty to rearrange our attitude toward fast fashion.
3 Antworten
Ich finde es sehr gut geschrieben. Teilweise sind mir persönlich deine Sätze etwas zu lang, das ist eher typisch deutsch ;) Aber du kannst es so lassen.
Vom Aufbau her würde ich strikt von rechts nach links oder links nach rechts beschreiben. Du springst einmal, weil du den Fluss vor dem Poster erwähnst und dann zur Näherin kommst. Was mir fehlt ist, dass die Frau auf dem Poster als Teufel dargestellt ist.
Ansonsten nur ein paar Kleinigkeiten (ohne Anspruch auf Vollständigkeit)
- Überprüfe nochmal, ob du vor jedem neuen Satz ein Leerzeichen hast.
- Du schreibst women - s/b woman.
- apparently a western woman
- that reads (nicht which)
- sewing
- audience's
- nach "from her facial expression" würde ich ein Komma setzen
- intent
- people's (ohne the)
- nach In conclusion auch ein Komma
- artist
- due to the fact klingt für mich "deutsch" - ich würde einfach because oder since sagen
- Additionally,
- Without any doubt,
- audience's
doch, das heißt es und ist auch nicht grundsätzlich falsch. Aber "due to the fact that..." innerhalb des ohnehin schon langen Satzes ist für mich zu sehr angelehnt an das deutsche "aufgrund der Tatsache, dass.." Ist vielleicht Geschmackssache, aber ich finde an der Stelle ein einfaches because oder since besser und es verschlankt auch deinen komplexes Satz. Außerdem würde ich an der Stelle inhaltlich vielleicht nicht nur auf die Zukunft, sondern auch auf die Gegenwart abheben, für die wir als Konsumenten zuständig sind.
Ich würde daran nicht unbedingt was ändern, alles was wichtig ist hast du gut getroffen denke ich.
Ganz einfach!
Und geht es nur deshalb gut, weil es eine dritte Welt gibt.
Isso!
Vielen Dank für die Antwort! Heißt due to nicht aufgrund von? Oder sagt man das im Englischen nicht?