Wir sollen in Englisch ein Alternative Ending für die Shortstory „Greyhound tragedy“ schreiben und ich wäre sehr dankbar wenn jemand meinen Text auf Rechschreibung und Grammatik korrigieren könnte.
She finally took up the courage to ask the salesman how much a ticket to Hollywood costs, when the Ford salesman passes by. She felt so brave and free and thought now nothing could stop her from her dream, but this feeling immediately stopped when the man, who sold the tickets told her that there is no bus that goes all the way to Hollywood. Hearing these words she felt like her whole dream was put in a jar and thrown down a cliff. All the years she felt like she was just a bus ride away from going to Hollywood and living the life she always dreamed of. The bus station was such a magical place for her, but now all these feelings she felt when passing the station will go away and it would just be an ordinary place for her. She tried to act cool like nothing happened, but when a young good looking man noticed her and asked if she was alright she couldn’t stand it anymore and her tears started rolling down her cheeks. The man tried to calm her down, but she just started hysterically telling her whole story while the tears already formed a little puddle on the floor. It was a releasing feeling for her and all her fears and thoughts seemed to be away in that one moment. As she wanted to thank the man for trying to comfort her she looked at him for the first time and recognized his face from the hundreds of movies she watched over and over again. It was Logan Smith, one of the most known actors of Hollywood, in her small hometown in Oregon. He felt sorry for her and wanted to give her the opportunity to go back to Hollywood with him to follow her dreams. She didn’t thought for even a second and immediately agreed to his suggestion.
During the 6 hour long ride from Oregon back to Hollywood the two got to know each other pretty well and Logan told her everything she needs to know to be successful in the media industry. About 30 minutes before they would have arrived in Hollywood they had an awful accident with another driver. The car both of them where in crashed into a tree and the other one down a small hill. When the police came they identified the two as dead and the driver of the other car was extremely injured, but he survived.
It didn’t took much time until the news got to know about Logan Smith‘s death and his name was everywhere. In every newspaper, magazine, TV-show or radio was a report about his death. But since he wasn’t alone in the car they all also mentioned Serena Thompson and even showed pictures of the young women from a small Oregon town.
Even five years later Serena Thompson is a name everyone thinks of, when passing the tree near Hollywood, where a picture of Logan and Serena will always remember of their Hollywood tragedy.
Im Gegenteil. Ist ziemlich gutes Englisch, also literarisch oberes Regal. Diese Konstruktion wird als Betonung verwendet, dem Zuhörer/Leser wird also sofort die reale/gefühlte Kürze deutlich.