Englisch: Summary Korrekturlesen/Bewerten?
Hallo, ich würde mich freuen, wenn ihr meine Summary zu einem Roman lesen und ggf. korrigieren/bewerten könntet:
The Chapter 12 of the novel ,,The Slam’’ by Nick hornby deals with how Sam is whizzed to the future again and get a second look on his life in the future.
After Sam realizes that he is in the future he move to the kitchen where Mark is there feeding a baby and without having any clue whoms baby it is until Mark calls him big brother towards her. The fact, that he doesn’t even know the name of his baby sister let him feel stupid. When Sam is being around his mother, a mobile phone starts to ring that sounds like a cow mooing. It is Alicia, who is calling him. She tells him on the Phone whether he could take his son to the health center for the jab whereas Sam agrees. As the receptionist at the health center asks him about his Sons full name he couldn’t answer correctly which makes the woman skeptical. She tells him that he suppose to come back later when he gets to known his son better and make him an advice to spend more time with his son. On the way back at home Sam asks his son for his proper name and he tells him Rufus. Then Sam takes him to the swings without knowing that Roof doesn’t like the swings because last time he got hit on the head by one. After Sam buys Roof an ice cream they visit a toy shop where Roof obtains an hellicopter and last they go to the cinema together to watch the movie called “Dressing salad”. Then, Sam bring Roof back to Alicia and before he leaves he tells him goodbye. Back at home Sam asks his mother how he is doing in life. His mother assess him a seven out of ten and says him he manages everything well. And by that Sam wakes up and returns to the future.
vielen dank
1 Antwort
(---) Chapter 12 of the novel ,,The Slam’’ by Nick hornby (RS) deals with how Sam is whizzed to the future again and get (Grammatik) a second look on his life in the future.
After Sam realizes that he is in the future (Komma) he move (Grammatik) to the kitchen where Mark is (---) feeding a baby (Komma oder neuer Satz) and without having any clue whoms (Grammatik; Wort) baby it is until Mark calls him big brother towards (Präposition) her (Woher weiß er, dass es ein Baby Girl ist?) – Formuliere ohne Präposition und stelle das Possessivepronomen vor big brother. The fact (kein Komma) that he (Wer?) doesn’t(*1) even know the name of his baby sister let (Grammatik, Wort) him feel stupid. When Sam is being around (Grammatik, Ausdruck) his mother, a mobile phone starts to ring that sounds like a cow mooing. It is Alicia, who is calling him. She tells (Verb) him on the Phone (RS) whether he could take his son to the health center (= AE; BE = centre) for the jab (Welche Impfung?) whereas (Wort) Sam agrees.
As (Wort) the receptionist at the health center (s.o.) asks him about his Sons (RS) full name he couldn’t(*1) answer correctly which makes the woman skeptical (= AE; BE = sceptical). She tells him that he suppose (Grammatik) to come back later when he gets to known (Grammatik; außerdem reicht „kennt“ statt „kennengelernt hat“) his son better and make (Grammatik; Verb) him an advice (Grammatik) to spend more time with his son. – Für meinen Geschmack enthält dieser Abschnitt zu häufig „him, his, he“ und zu wenig Sam.
On the way back (---) home (Komma) Sam asks his son for his proper name and he tells him Rufus (Formulierung). Then Sam takes him to the swings without knowing that Roof doesn’t(*1) like the swings because last time he got hit (Ich persönlich würde hier das Past Perfect vorziehen.) on the (besser: Possessivpronomen) head by one. After Sam buys (Grammatik) Roof an ice cream (Komma) they visit a toy shop where Roof obtains (Ich würde hier ein anders Verb wählen, obtain halte ich für ein wenig „too much“) an (RS) hellicopter (RS) and last they go to the cinema together to watch the (Artikel) movie called “Dressing salad”. Then, Sam bring (Grammatik) Roof back to Alicia and before he leaves he tells him goodbye. Back (---) home (Komma) Sam asks his mother how he is doing (Grammatik) in life. His mother assess (Grammatik) him a seven out of ten and says (Wort; Grammatik) him he manages everything well. And (kein optimaler Satzanfang) by that Sam wakes up and returns to the future (Ich denke Sam ist in der Zukunft, warum kehrt er dann in sie zurück?).
(*1): Kurzformen wie diese werden vorwiegend im gesprochenen Englisch verwendet. In der Schriftsprache - zumindest in formellen Schreiben - sollte man solche und andere Kurzformen (he's, I'm, don't usw.) vermeiden.
Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert, das Kursivgedruckte überdacht werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.
Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,
für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!
AstridDerPu
PS: Summaries (= Inhaltsangaben, Zusammenfassungen) werden in der Regel im Present geschrieben. Handlungen aus der Vergangenheit können aber durchaus auch im Past Simple und Present Perfect stehen.
- The summary is usually written in the present tense.
- But past events may be reported in the past, future events may be reported in the future.
- Statements or questions which were made in the past may be reported in the past tense or the past perfect.
- Statements and questions which were made in the past but concern the future may be reported in the conditional
(Quelle: kfmaas.de/summary0.html)
Für die Anwendung der anderen Zeiten im Summary gelten dieselben Regeln und Signalwörter wie in anderen Texten.
Die Zusammenfassung eines Sachtextes, der sich mit Geschichte befasst, steht im Simple Past, denn es handelt sich um in der Vergangenheit abgeschlossene Handlungen.
In eine Summary gehören nicht:
- Progressive / Continuous Tense
- Wörtliche Rede
- Zitate aus dem Originaltext
- Eigene Meinung, Gedanken und Kommentare
- Stellungnahme
- Schlusssatz
- Erzählerische Elemente, z.B. suddenly, unfortunately, at long last …
Zur Länge gibt es keine Vorgaben, man sagt über den Daumen gepeilt 1/5 des Originaltextes.
Tipps und Wendungen zu englischen Summaries findest du unter folgendem Link: ego4u.de/de/cram-up/writing/summary
Ouh dankeschön :-) Ich habe ganz schön viele Fehler gemacht… kannst du mir vielleicht sagen, welche Note du mir für meine Summary geben würdest?