Englisch Bewerbungsschreiben?

Hey Leute, ich schreibe morgen eine Arbeit in Englisch und wollte mal wissen was ihr von der Bewerbung haltet, was ich verbessern sollte,usw.

Das ist frei erfunden was die Adressen usw angeht.

                                                       March 5, 2014

Max Muster Musterstraße 44 12345 Musterhausen Tel.: [phone] Email: [e-mail]

Jennifer O`Rourke Automotive Services Ltd 103 Selsdown Drive London E14 9LA UK(United Kingdom)

Dear Ms Jennifer O´Rourke,

Application for a bilingual assistant

I saw your advertisement for a bilingual assistant on the website of www.unitedKINGdom.co.uk and I should like to apply for this position.

From 2004 to 2009 I attended Mustergesamtschule in Musterhausen comparable to comprehensive school, where I obtained my A-Levels. I successfully did a traineeship for a secretary with the company MusterBoat GmbH, which is a small and modern company that produce boats and export them.

Since 2009 I have been working with MusterBoat GmbH as the secretary. During my traineeship with MusterBoat GmbH I gained experience in talking English or German with customers and running a busy office. This traineeship gave me considerable skills which I want to use and improve for the position advertised.

I have a good command of English. I had nearly 8 years of English at school and I have also done a special examination for commercial professions. After completing my traineeship I was able to improve my command of English by speaking directly to the customers. I also have had French for 5 years in school, that gives me the opportunity that I´m able to speak the three languages, needed for the bilingual assistant.

I enclose my CV and certified translations of my certificates. I should be pleased to provide names of the referees if required.

I should be grateful if you would consider my application. I would very much enjoy the challenge of working for a company in London.

Yours sincerely

Max Muster

Enclosures

Ich hoffe ihr könnt mir ein paar konstruktive Antworten liefern.

MfG Cataracs

Answer 1

[AstridDerPu]

Dear Ms Jennifer O´Rourke,

Application for a bilingual assistant (Position)

I saw your advertisement for a bilingual assistant on the website of www.unitedKINGdom.co.uk and I should like to apply for this position.

From 2004 to 2009 I attended Mustergesamtschule in Musterhausen comparable to comprehensive school, where I obtained my A-Levels. I successfully did a traineeship for a secretary with the company MusterBoat GmbH, which is a small and modern company that produce boats and export them.

Since 2009 I have been working with MusterBoat GmbH as the secretary. During my traineeship with MusterBoat GmbH Komma I gained experience in talking English or German with customers and running a busy office. This traineeship gave me considerable skills which I want to use and improve for the position advertised.

I have a good command of English. I had nearly 8 years of English at school and I have also done (Zeit) a special examination for commercial professions. After completing my traineeship Komma I was able to improve my command of English by speaking directly to the customers. I also have had (Zeit) French for 5 years in school, that gives me the opportunity that I´m able to speak the three languages Komma needed for the bilingual assistant. (Wieso braucht ein bilangual assistant 3 Sprachen?)

I enclose my CV and certified translations of my certificates. I should be pleased to provide names of the referees if required.

I should be grateful if you would consider my application. I would very much enjoy the challenge of working for a company in London.

Yours sincerely

Max Muster

Enclosures

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.eu,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.

Kostenlose Vorlagen für englische Bewerbungen findest du hier:

bradleycvs.co.uk/how-to-write-a-resume/free-cover-letter-samples-and-resume-templates.htm

Tipps und Wendungen zu englischen Bewerbungsschreiben und Lebensläufen findest du in der Schreibschule (oben links) bei ego4u.de.

AstridDerPu

Answer 2

[gossipgirlx3]

Dear Ms Jennifer O´Rourke,

Application as a bilingual assistant

I saw your advertisement for a bilingual assistant on the website www.unitedKINGdom.co.uk and I would like to apply for this position.

From 2004 to 2009, I attended Mustergesamtschule in Musterhausen comparable to comprehensive school, where I obtained my A-Levels. I successfully did a traineeship as a secretary with the company MusterBoat GmbH, which is a small and modern company which produces boats and exports them.

Since 2009, I have been working as a secretary at MusterBoat GmbH. During my traineeship with MusterBoat GmbH I gained experience in talking in English or German to customers and running a busy office. This traineeship gave me considerable skills which I want to use and improve for the position advertised.

I have a good knowledge of English. I had nearly 8 years of English at school and I have also done a special examination for commercial professions. After completing my traineeship I was able to improve my command of English by speaking directly to the customers. I also have had French for 5 years in school, which enables me to speak the three languages which are needed for the work of an bilingual assistant.

Please find enclosed my CV and certified translations of my certificates. I would be pleased to provide names of the referees if required.

I would be grateful if you would consider my application and very much enjoy the challenge of working for a company in London.

Yours sincerely

Max Muster

Enclosed: CV

Was mir aufgefalen ist, dass du ziemlich oft "should" anstatt von "would" geschrieben hast, solltest du dir vielleicht nochmal angucken :)

Comments

[Cataracs]

Should ist schon richtig, man verwendet should anstatt would in diesen Zusammenhängen, so hat es uns unser Lehrer erklärt und so steht es auf dem Beispiel.