Introduce yourself für Englisch Berufsschule

Hallo, ich habe für die BS die Aufgabe mich in Englisch vorzustellen. Ich hoffe das ist so in Ordnung:

**Good morning. Today i like to introduce you myself. My name is , and I’m years old. I was born on the 25th October 19.. in . I have a good family connection with my parents. So far I attended the 9th elementary school in from till . And from till the comprehensive school in . In I passed the final leaving examinations and in I finished my apprenticeship as a service specialist for dialog marketing. Over the course of the two following years I worked as a call center agent. Now I’m motivated to finish one’s training as an office management assistant. I enjoy playing videogames with and also listening to music but I don’t play it. I also like to play soccer. My special skills are touch-typing and some other things I had learned in my previous training like skills in Excel or Word. I have some cockatiels at home and also an aquarium. My future plans are to pass the apprenticeship to become an office management assistant. After the apprenticeship I’m not sure I think at first I like to get an job or to study. After the training I planed to visit Chile. There I will visit the Anden from south to the north. Thank you for your attention. **

Answer 1

[AstridDerPu]

Good morning. Today I would like to introduce myself.

My name is , and I’m years old.

I was born in ... on 25th October 19.. . (Satzbau: (Time)-Subject-Predicate-Object-Place-(Time)

I have a good relationship with my parents.

So far I have attended the 9th elementary school in from till . Bis jetzt habe ich die 9. Grundschule in ... von ... bis... besucht.???

And (kein Satzanfang) from till the comprehensive school in . (kein vollständiger Satz)

In I passed the final leaving examinations and in I finished my apprenticeship as a service specialist for dialogue marketing.

Over the course of the following two years I worked as a call center agent. Now I am (in der Schriftsprache Langformen verwenden) motivated to finish my training as an office management assistant.

I enjoy playing videogames with ........ and also listening to music but I don’t play a musical instrument.

I also like to play soccer. My special skills are touch-typing and some other things (Stil).

I learned in my previous training like skills in Excel or Word.

I have some cockatiels at home and also an aquarium. My future plans are to pass my apprenticeship to become an office management assistant.

I’m not sure what I will do after my apprenticeship. Maybe I will get a job or study. After the training I plan to visit Chile. I would like to travel through the Andes from the south to the north.

Thank you for your attention.

Man versteht nicht richtig, welche und wieviel Ausbildungen du machst / gemacht hast

• abgeschlossen: Service Specialist for Dialogue Marketing
• aktuell: Office Management Assistant
• training und apprenticeship - Wo ist der Unterschied?

:-) AstridDerPu

Answer 2

[zwergsaeger]

Good morning. Today i like to introduce[---] myself. My name is , and I’m years old. I was born on the 25th October 19.. in . I have a good [----] connection with my parents. So far I attended[---] 9th elementary school in from till . And from till the comprehensive school in . In I passed the final[---] examinations and in I finished my apprenticeship as a service specialist for dialogue marketing. [---] the two following years I worked as a call center agent. Now I’m motivated to finish my training as an office management assistant. I enjoy playing videogames and also listening to music but I don’t play an instrument. I also like to play soccer. My special skills are touch-typing [----1--] I had learned in my previous training like skills in Excel or Word. I have got some cockatiels????? at home and an aquarium. too. My future plans are to successfully finish the apprenticeship to become an office management assistant. After the apprenticeship I’m not sure what to do. I think at first I like to get a job or go on studying. After the training I plan to visit Chile. There I will follow the Anden Mountains from south to [---] north. Thank you for your attention. **

fett = korrigiert/eingefügt; [---] = gestrichen

zu 1) in einer Vorstellung/Bewerbung würde man nie "Videogrames" oder "meeting friends" als Hobby angeben, das gilt nämlich als "Nichtstun!", Zeittotschlagen, Mangel an Kreativität und Initiative;

schreibe auch nie: "...and some other things"

Comments

[Bodyshot]

Hallo,

vielen Danke, dass Ihr Euch die Zeit genommen habt. Ich habe es jetzt überarbeitet. Danke!