Characterization überprüfen- Englisch

In the following I´m going to characterize Laura and the relationship between her and her Friend Ravi. Laura is the main character in the book “The Carbon Diaries 2015”. She is a normal teenager who goes to school. She also has a sister named Kim who Laura really loves, but also she´s jealous of Kim, because their parents tread them different. When Carbon dioxide was limited, she was very unhappy with the situation, about the society, her family and her love Life with Ravi. All has change. Laura reacts over and dramatized all, because she doesn´t know how to react and what she has to feel in difficult situations. That shows that Laura is an unsure girl. She is also easy to manipulate, that demonstrate that she doesn’t really know herself and that she´s really insecure (p.80). Another character property is that she´s self-pity, sometimes depressive and very sentimental. Her private life is very important to her. She cares a lot of her band, her beginning love Ravi and the friendship to Adi and co. Laura is also very brave, but concurrently scared too. Sometimes she felt very alone, because no know cares about her. Her parents argue all time, Ravi doesn´t shows interests no more, because of his scholarship and Kim is cold-hearted and careless (p.335). When Laura kicked out of school, she realizes that she needs education (p.125). She do not get along with the difficult Situation. Everything has changed. Her family, her school notes, her friends and her love life.

Her relationship to Ravi is complicated. First they were in love with each other. Since Ravi has problems in his family, because of the difficult relationship between his parents, he only wants to get out of the city and only not because of his parents, but also because he wants to get away from the situation and the Carbon reduce. He wants to get a better life and that without his family. So Ravi wants to get a scholarship for a university in Germany. Then he wanted to study green engineering to improve the situation of his country (p.264). His education is him more important than Laura, but Laura still loves him. Ravi thinks that Laura isn´t that much important than his future. Laura cannot understand his decision. She thinks when he would really love her, he wouldn´t go to Germany and let her alone, and so they break up the contact and Laura get´s in love with Adi her previous best friend, who plays in her band. The relationship of Laura and Ravi was romantic and careful at the beginning, but then Ravi hasn´t much time for Laura and they break up.

---

Habt ihr noch Verbesserungen zur Rechtschreibung, Form und etc. Hab ich was bei meiner Analyse vergessen?

Danke schonmal im vorraus :)

Answer 1

[nicicup]

Hey, ich hab ein paar Verbesserungsvorschläge, ich hoff du kennst dich aus (:

1. Zeile: In the following text ..

4. Zeile: she's also jealous of Kim

6. Zeile: everything has changed

7: reacts over würd ich weg lassen

8:she doesn't know how she feels in different situations

9:insecure girl

10: knows herself, character attribute statt property

14: feels left alone, no one cares

16: gets kicked out

18: Noten: grades

2. Absatz:

3: not only because

5: better life without his family

7:his education is more important for him than Laura

8:isn't more important than his future

9: she thinks that if he would really love herleave her alone

lg

Answer 2

[kontroletti]

So grob fällt mir auf das du vielleicht noch Zeilangaben machen solltest. Dann noch Autor etc... Ansonsten ganz okay vielleicht noch ein bisschen formeller

Comments

[Jsica]

ich muss davor noch eine summary schreiben, da steht TATT schon drin, also brauche ich das nicht.

Answer 3

[AstridDerPu]

In the following I´m going to characterize Laura and the relationship between her and her Friend Ravi. Laura is the main character in the book “The Carbon Diaries 2015”. She is a normal teenager who goes to school. She also has a sister named Kim who Laura really loves, but also (Stellung) she´s jealous of Kim kein Komma because their parents tread them different. When Carbon dioxide was limited, she was very unhappy with the situation kein Komma about (---) society, her family and her love Life with Ravi. All has change. Laura reacts over and dramatized all

kein Komma because she doesn´t know how to react and what she has to feel in difficult situations. That shows that Laura is an unsure girl. She is also easy to manipulate

neuer Satz that demonstrate that she doesn’t really know herself and that she´s really insecure (p.80). Another character property is that she´s self-pity, sometimes depressive and very sentimental. Her private life is very important to her. She cares a lot of her band, her beginning love Hier fehlt etwas. Ravi and the (besser: possessive pronoun) friendship to Adi and co. Laura is also very brave kein Komma but concurrently (Hier würde ich ein anderes Wort vorziehen.) scared too. Sometimes Komma she felt very alone kein Komma because no know cares about her. Her parents argue all time Konjunktion statt Komma Ravi doesn´t shows

interests no more kein Komma because of his scholarship and Kim is cold-hearted and careless (p.335). When Laura Hier fehlt etwas. kicked out of school, she realizes that she needs education (p.125). She do not get along with the difficult Situation. Everything has changed Kein neuer Satz Her family, her school notes, her friends and her love life.

Her relationship to Ravi is complicated. First Komma they were in love with each other. Since Ravi has problems in his family kein Komma because of the difficult relationship between his parents, he only wants to get out of the city and only not because of his parents, but also because he wants to get away from the situation and the Carbon reduce. -

3 x 'because' in einem Satz!

He wants to get a better life and that without his family. So Ravi wants to get a scholarship for a university in Germany. Then he wanted to study green engineering to improve the situation of his country (p.264).

His education is him more important than Laura

kein Komma

but Laura still loves him. Ravi thinks that Laura isn´t that much important than his future. Laura cannot understand his decision. She thinks when he would really love her, he wouldn´t go to Germany and let her alone, and so they break up the contact and Laura get´s in love with Adi Komma her previous best friend, who plays in her band. The relationship of Laura and Ravi was romantic and careful

at the beginning kein but then Ravi hasn´t much time for Laura and they break up.

---

Überprüfe die Zeiten, denn:

Basically present tense is used in characterizations.

Kurzformen (hasn't, I'm usw.) sollten in der Schriftsprache nicht verwendet werden.

---

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.

AstridDerPu

PS: im Voraus