Spencer: She's gone, but she's everywhere.
Spencer: You know what they say about hope. It breeds eternal misery.
Hanna: Hello? Is anybody out there? Spencer: Its probably a rabbit. Hanna [calls out]: Helloooo? Spencer: It's a rabbit, Hanna. It's not gonna answer you.
Spencer [to Toby]: The whole message reads BAD, what does that mean? Am I supposed to go buy an old Michael Jackson album?
Spencer [about Aria being with Mr. Fitz]: Part of me thinks this is really self-destructive behavior. Most of me just thinks it's really hot.
Emily: Sometimes when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Spencer: Why are you talking like Ben Franklin?
Spencer: You don't paper over windows unless you're a vampire.
Spencer: Mona is five feet of insidious snark with a side ponytail,and I just... I wanna grab it, and I wanna yank it really, really hard.
Spencer [skeptically, with regards to her sister's evening plans]: Church? Melissa: Planning a christening. Spencer: Isn’t that a little premature? What if it’s not born a human?
Spencer [to Aria]: Come on, we're team Sparia.
Spencer: He's your boyfriend, Aria. He's not a baby squirrel. Aria: I was just trying to do the right thing. Spencer: Totally wrong. Look, I've been there, I've done that. Every time you baby squirrel Ezra, you're taking away his nuts. Aria: You did not just say that.
Spencer: These are my most collegiate-looking blazers.
Spencer: B is for bad.
Spencer: You gotta love the Hastings. I just get released from a mental hospital, and they welcome my friends with tea and crumpets.
Spencer: Mom, I am not a sofa!
Emily: How am I supposed to live in that house? Aria: Just hang out on the second floor. Spencer: And wear underwear at all times.
Spencer: God, why are you so mean, Dean? Dean: Because you make me tense, Spence.
Emily: You know that A is always one step ahead of us. Spencer: Yeah, maybe he...she...it...b* is.
Spencer: We made a pact Emily. A is finally dead and we were all ready to get back to our lives and now we're back on Planet Alison.
Emily: Coincidences happen. Spencer: Yeah, all the time. They grow on trees like coconuts just waiting for you to walk under them.
Spencer: Aria, you need to take a psychological selfie right now. You’re letting your paranoia get the better of you.
Alison: You're a little loud. Spencer: You're a little crazy!
Spencer [to Jenna]: When you ask the organ grinder a question, you don't really want to hear from the monkey.
Spencer [to Alison]: I'm sorry, do we seriously have to remind you that you were never actually kidnapped?