Wie findedihr die songs die ich gemacht habe 2024?
Hi ich habe paar Songs 2 Songs gemacht
Ein da war ich traurig und ein für meine Freundin wo wir uns am Strand getroffen haben
Everytime I visit this place
It keeps happening over and over
And keeps reapiting in a ciycel again and agian
And I don't know what I can do to stop the pain
Every Love I finde Leaves at the end
Like a leaf of the tree
And I just want the pain to end
But I don't know what I should do
Before and after it Dosent matter
I be sad forever
The moment you realize
There is no Girl For you
No Soulmate for you
No Person To Love for you
No Family i can have with her
Its only you and the darkness
Forever and ever
And there is nothing you can do
Only a Mirical could save you
From the Forever pain
But it's only you and the darkness
And your alone
Forever and ever
Everytime you visit this place
It keeps happening over and over
And keeps reapiting in a ciycel again and agian
And you don't know what you can do to stop the pain
Every Love you finde Leaves at the end
Like a leaf of the tree
And you just want the pain to end
But you don't know what you should do
Before and after it Dosent matter
You be sad forever
The moment you realize
There is no Girl For you
No Soulmate for you
No Person To Love for you
No Family you can have with her
Its only you and the darkness
Forever and ever
And there is nothing you can do
Only a Mirical could save you
From the Forever pain
But it's only you and the darkness
And your alone
Forever and ever
And there is nothing you can do
Before and after it Dosent matter
You be sad forever
The moment you realize
There is no Girl For you
No Soulmate for you
No Person To Love for you
No Family you can have with her
Its only you and the darkness
Forever and ever
And there is nothing you can do
Forever and ever
And there is nothing you can do
Forever and ever
But Everytime you visit this place
It keeps happening over and over
And keeps reapiting in a ciycel again and agian
And you don't know what you can do to stop the pain
Stop the pain
And there is nothing you can do
Und das ist der zweite
Then we meet at The Volly Ball place
At the Hotel Cancun
And it was a Thursday
And her eyes so beuteful like the moon
And her name was Amira
She was so cute
And I can't forget her
Having sleepless nights thinking what I should do
Before we meet
I was so nervous to talk to her
I had a flower I wanted to give her
But it was a long day
And I knew if I would talk to her
I would regret this forever
After we meet we had fun
Taking selfies And we're at the Party
Amira Amira
Me and You
Amira Amira
Me and You
I want to give you my heart
Because you mean a lot to me
Are the Favorit part of my life
The only one for me
I feel like your my soulemate
I need you here with me
Amira Amira
Me and You
Amira Amira
Me and You
You always know how i feel, even when I try my best to hide it
You bring my heart to jump Form Joy
Your smell is so Sweet I want to cuddle you
The Softness of your hand to the Sound of the Beach
I do really want you do be my Paradies
Amira Amira
Me and You
Amira Amira
Me and You
We were sitting on the Beach
Only you and me
And hearing music at night
We were at the Beach Party
And we had much fun
And now I know your my soulemate
And I really do love you endless and forever
Amira Amira
Me and You
Amira Amira
Me and You
Amira
You mean the world to me
You're my everything
I'm lucky to have you
I can't imagine my life without you anymore
You do light up my life
You're are my best friend
I'm addicted to your eyes
I know you the one for me
Now I miss you and want you here with me
Amira
Forever in my heart
Is where you will be
Nobody else will enter
Because you have the only key
Amira Amira
Me and You-u-uh
Amira Amira
Me and You-u-uh
Amira Amira
Me and You
Amira Amira
Me and You
Wie finded ihr es
2 Antworten
Wie ich es finde? Licht und Schatten.
Ich fange mal mit etwas positiven an: man erkennt, um was es gehen soll (es wäre allerdings beim Lesen hilfreich gewesen, wenn Du die beiden Songs optisch getrennt hättest).
Du hast auch versucht mit Bildern zu arbeiten, auch das erkennt man.
Ich würde das aber nicht als Song begreifen, das ist mehr ein Gedicht. Bei mir löst das keine Phantasie für eine musikalische Umsetzung aus
Was ich leider ganz schlecht finde ist die Anwendung der englischen Sprache. Viele Vokabeln sind für mich falsch verwendet und der Text strotzt vor Grammatikfehlern ... das solltest Du dringend nochmal überarbeiten. Nur weil Du einen Reim hinbekommst ist es noch nicht schön. Sorry.
Aber ich habe auch schon schlechteres, meist von der Deutschrap-Fraktion, gelesen. Von daher alles gut.
Aber überarbeite es nochmal. Gruss
Habe noch was hinzugefügt
Bevor dem After we meet
Diese line
And I knew if I would talk to her
I would regret this forever
Ja, ist ja auch alles gut. Das hat aber bisher mit "Song" noch nichts zu tun. Das sind zwei Schlangen-Texte, bei denen Du alleine eine Vorstellung hast, was es sein soll. Wenn man gefragt wird, wie man einen SONG findet, dann erwarte ich halt was anderes als das. Gruss
Ja habe den Song noch nicht fertig ist nur der text jetzt
Der liebes song wird normal gesungen
Der 2 ist metal song
Heydu! :) hier mein Feedback:
- Finde Text und Message richtig stark!👍
- Wär natürlich noch cooler mit einer Melodie dazu ^^
- Das mit dem eyes und moon find ich persönlich kitschig, aber jeder wie er möchte
- *paradise
weiter so! 🔥
Ich habe eigentlich nur so geschrieben wie ich mich fühle und was ich selber gesehen und erlebt habe