Korrektur Englisch?
Hallo Leute,
wĂ€re nett wenn einer mir meinem Text korrigieren könnte!đ
Hi folks,
I went on a camping holiday in Bavaria with my family. As you probably know from my other posts, I don't really like going camping. But I had no choice but to go with my family! To be honest, I enjoyed it a bit! I'm sure you're wondering now, but seriously, it wasn't as bad as the last few times. I mean, of course the weather was mostly bad but otherwise I had a good time. And this time I wasn't alone - I met other teenagers and spent a lot of time with them! We talked about a lot of topics such as celebrities, football and au pairs. And my blog post today will mainly be about au pairs. To be more specific about male au pairs ... you heard it right! Most of you would surely say that there are only female au pairs! Because the teenagers I met on vacation didn't want to believe me either! But no, there really are male au pairs! Maybe not too many like female au pairs but there are some! The main purpose of this post is to make it clear to all of you that no profession has a label. It means that everyone can do anything, no matter if you are a male or a female! And another reason is because I want to draw attention to male au pairs! I want to encourage many guys among you to do something like this too.Last week I read a testimonial from a German boy named Timo. He had written about his time as an au pair in New Zealand. After graduating from high school, he decided to go to a distant country as an au pair. He too was initially unsure whether he would even have a chance as a boy. Nevertheless, he did not give up his hope and after a month a host family contacted him. He lived in Waikato with his host parents and host brother. His main job was to take care of their 4 year old son. In addition, he was also responsible for the household. He had to look after the pets and clean the whole house one day a week. All in all, he felt very much at home in New Zealand, his host brother became like his own brother and he had a lot of fun going to play parks with him, building caves, jumping on trampolines and teaching him to write and play the piano. He enjoyed this trip so much that he would be willing to do it all over again! So don't wait boys and girls! If you have such an opportunity I would definitely use it to have an unforgettable experience! Please let me know your opinion on this au pair topic! Thanks for reading and see you on another post! Good night:)
2 Antworten
Bitteschön
Du lieferst keine Fehlerkorrektur, sondern Alternativen. Nicht alle halte ich fĂŒr besser als das Original.
I don't really like going camping. But I had no choice but to go with my family!
2 buts in einem Satz sind eine eher komische Ausdrucksweise und ein Komma nach camping wÀre besser.
Vorschlag: "I don't really like going camping, however I had no choice but to go with my family."
I'm sure you're wondering now, but seriously, it wasn't as bad as the last few times.
Der erste Teil vom Satz bringt nicht viel sinnvolles in den Text mit ein.
Vorschlag: "In fact I had much more fun than usual" Die gleiche Aussage nur kompakter und ansprechender.
And my blog post today will mainly be about au pairs.
"And" und "But" an SatzanfÀngen kannst du immer streichen. Genau wie im Deutschen da wird "Und" und "Aber" genauso nie am Satzanfang benutzt.
Maybe not too many like female au pairs but there are some!
Bei Vergleichen ist die Struktur "Maybe not as many as there are female au pairs but there are some" deutlicher lieber gesehen.
He had written about his time as an au pair in New Zealand.
"He wrote..." ist in dem Fall die richtige Vergangenheitsform.
After graduating from High School,..."
High School ist ein Titel deswegen GroĂschreibung
In addition, he was also responsible for the household.
LĂ€sst sich nicht so einfach Wort fĂŒr Wort ĂŒbersetzen hört sich aber ganz witzig an. "Household" wird im Englischen oft fĂŒr Finanzen verwendet, das ist glaub ich hier nicht gemeint ^^. Wenn es mehr um kleine Arbeiten im Haushalt geht ist das Wort "Housekeeping" besser.
...and he had a lot of fun going to play parks with him...
"play parks" nehme ich an soll Spielplatz heiĂen? Das richtige Wort wĂ€re dann "playground"
teaching him to write
In dem Zusammenhang muss es heiĂen "teaching him how to write"
If you have such an opportunity I would definitely use it to have an unforgettable experience!
Wenn der If-Satz am Anfang steht werden die SÀtze durch ein Komma getrennt also "If you have such an opportunity, I would definetly..." umgedreht gehts auch ohne Komma. Noch dazu hast du in dem Fall die If-clauses und Personalpronomen ein wenig durcheinander gebracht. Möglich wÀre entweder "If I had such an opportunity, I would definetly..." oder "If you have such an opportunity, you should definetly..."
Ist eine doch etwas lange Korrektur geworden aber keine Angst der Text ist wirklich gut geschrieben. Du machst nur hin und wieder leichte Fehler was grammatikalische Besonderheiten betrifft.
Es ist völliger Unsinn, dass ein Satz nicht mit "And" (oder "Und") beginnen dĂŒrfe.
Ansonsten stimme ich dir weitestgehend zu.