Ist diese Analyse grammatikalisch richtigund habt ihr Tipps (Ich habe leider in Englisch schwierigkeiten)?

The text “This is not a good place to live” by Afua Hirsch written in December 2013 consists of a heading and seven parts. The introduction part consists of one part.There you are informed about the generically situation in Agbogbloshie.The electric waste comes in Agbogloshie from all over the world and Karim a 29 years old boy buying and selling at the dump,for 10 years.The author wants the regard of the readers in line 1”but especially from Europe”.This hyporble serves for our wariness because the most e-waste come from ourselves,also the author means we must watch. In the second paragraph you learn the UNs want to solve the e-waste problem.They warn the global volume of such refuse is set to grow by 33% over the next years.The author repeat the importance the e-waste on the world. In the next passage is shown the working methods of the workers.They work at a pile of e-waste with chisels and pliers and by hand.The author writes in line 16”they store the fruits of their labour”.The author obtains here on the labouryty at this job,so the readers feels himselfs boring. Next you can see the persons must work because they need the money for their families,but they know the job is not good four yourselfs. In passage seven ,you can learn the persons have a simple life in A. but they life in electrical waste. The author describes with many metaphors (l…)”filth and fumes”,so we have a sensation about a dirty life. Finally the author writes the nickname of A. with two condemned biblical cities “Sodom and Gomorrah”,but A. is not hostile,but it is not a good place to live. The inbitants have not a chance ,because they need the money.

3 Antworten

Vom Beitragsersteller als hilfreich ausgezeichnet

Bswss

Von gutefrage auf Grund seines Wissens auf einem Fachgebiet ausgezeichneter Nutzer

Englisch, Grammatik

20.02.2016, 14:55

SO viele Fehler kann und möchte ich hier nicht korrigieren.

Hier einige Hinweise als Starthilfe:

Absatz/Abschnitt heißt nicht "part", sondern paragraph. (falls Du das meinst)

The first (introductory) part /paragraph consists of ..

the general situation

Karim, a 29-year-old boy..

Wortstellung: The electronic waste in A. comes from all over the world.

"passage" heißt TEXTSTELLE, nicht "Absatz".

Meinst Du "The author emphasizes the environmental impact of e-waste on the whole world"?

Es gibt kein Wort "hyporble". Meinst Du "hyperbole" (ausgesprochen etwa wie "haipöhrbeli") . Aber Dein Beispiel ist keins für hyperbole".

...

In line 16 the author writes... (Wortstellung)

"obtain" heißt "erhalten" !

"labouryty" gibt's nicht. Was sollt das denn heißen?

Letzter Satz

The inhabitants of A.have no alternative...

Kein Komma vor "because".

(Dies war nur eine kleine Auswahl!)

denizliboy

Beitragsersteller

20.02.2016, 15:09

vielen dank :)

JuliaAiluja

20.02.2016, 14:32

Im ersten Satz müsste es heißen "The text xy written by xy"

marie20004

26.01.2021, 13:48

Hey ich habe das Arbeitsblatt auch in Englisch ..hast du vllt das Arbeitsblatt dazu?

Ähnliche Beiträge

Würdet ihr für mein comment eine eins geben?

Ich bin mir halt nicht sicher, ob mein comment in Fach Englisch mir gelungen ist, daher wäre ein Feedback nett :)

Many people argue whether or not the British monarchy should be abolished.

In the following, I present arguments for and against a monarchy so that you can form your own pinion.

On the one hand, the British monarchy should be abolished because a monarch only rules but has no real political power or function. this means that a queen or king is unnecessary and unimportant to the state.

Also, the UK is not a democracy, as is claimed, because in a democracy people can elect the head of state, but since the royal family is still alive, they will continue to be the head of state.

This is very unfair and unequal to the rest of the population.

Also, people can never be 100% sure if the next monarch is good for the state and does not have bad intentions.

This could make people very worried.

Another important aspect is that the royal family spends a lot of money on the palace when they could use the money for more important things.

On the other hand, the British monarchy should not be abolished, because a monarch is very important even if he or she has no real political power.

His or her importance is reflected in national stability.

Since a monarch embodies the British history, values and tradition, this leads to stronger national identification, which brings people closer together so that there is national stability.

In addition, members of the royal family are very important to charities, because since the royal family has a good image and is important, charities can be heard better, so they continue with their charities.

Some people may think that a monarch spends a lot of money, but that doesn't mean a president doesn't.

there are many presidents with many

There are also many presidents with many offices, even more than the British monarch.

The fact that the royal family has always been at the head of the state means that people trust it because they know its good intentions.

This means that the monarchy is in safe hands, so to speak.

Another important point is that the royal family has shown that it can modernize and adapt to the times.

This is very important because many people claim that they are unmodern and have different thoughts than today.

But the Queen, for example, has allowed her son Charles to marry a divorced woman, whereas in the past this was a very dangerous issue.

that means she was able to “modernise”.

Weighing the pros and cons of the British monarchy, one can say that it should not be abolished because the British monarchy has been very successful, mainly because it has adapted to the times and modernized.

...zum Beitrag

Kann jemand über meinen Englischtext einmal rüberschauen?

Kann mal jemand über diesen En glischtext drübergucken und ein paar verbesserungsvorschläge dazuschreiben? Wäre echt nett! Achtung: Es ist eine Zusammenfassung!

Wo ich mir besonders unsicher bin - ist fett!

Text:

First of all the text presents a few facts about an average Briton. Among other things Tim Wardle occupy himself with the question, if Mr. or Mrs. Average exists in real world. And, if they exist, the author would like to know everything about him and his social environment(soziales umfeld).

First Mr. Wardle collects statistics to find out what is average and what is unaverage. A really important fact which he finds out while his data-recall facility is that the average person hast two children (statistical data: 1.8). He starts to search but for the present he does not find anyone who matches the criteria. But then Tim Wardle finds Army wife. He thinks that she is Mrs. Average but later he finds out that there are things she does which are hardly average. So the author visited the company CACI, because this company knows where which people live and if you give any information they will be able to tell you where the searched people live. Mr. Wardle gives information about an average person and so the company tells him where the average persons live - scilicet in Essex.

For this reason he drives to Essex and continue his quest right there, but again he does not find the Mr. or Mrs. Average. He now is about to give up. But suddenly there is a gleam of hope: National newspapers print Wardles(oder: Wardle´s) questions and in the following days many people contact the author and assure him that they are the average Briton. One of these is Peter Williamson who lives in the outskirts of Swindon where Tim Wardle drove(wohin T.W. (nun) fährt). When he arrives he tried to explain his aim. The married office worker and father of two children is exactly what the author had been looking for all the time.

In the end of the article he recognizes that being average is not bad and boring but a recipe for contentment.

...zum Beitrag

Könnte jemand über meinen Essay drüber schauen?

         Every school should demand school uniform

In some countries all over the world school children have to wear uniforms the color scheme and style varies from school to school. In other countries pupils can wear to school what ever clothes they choose. In those countries it could be difficult to introduce school uniforms, because they are not traditionally used to wearing one. In the following essay I want to discuss the advantages to introduce school uniforms world wide.

In my opinion school uniforms ind schools are positive but negative too because not every student have the same style and they cant decide which school uniforms they wanted to wear.

School uniforms are on the one side good because a lot of children are victims of bullying because some of theme haven’t enough money to buy expensive and nice clothes. In this case the school uniform is very practically and maybe a good problem-solving.

On the other side pupils cant find our style and have to wear clothes that they don’t wanted. School uniforms can be nice but not every day ,It quickly becomes boring .However, there are people around the world for which it is too expensive ,always to buy a school uniform. Children grow fast and because of that they have to buy an again and again. We must take into account that the school uniform is maybe expensive but the clothes that the kids need for school is not cheaper and they have to be buy again and again, too.

On the other hand if the pupils wear school uniforms there is not a difference between rich and poor.

I have come to the conclusion that school uniforms are not everywhere positive and children should be able to develop their own style. Cause the bully is not reduced by a school uniform.

...zum Beitrag

Kann jmd für mich meine Argumentationstext in ENGLISH kontrollieren?

Hello Boys and Gurls,

hab ne Argumentationstext für morgen in die Schule geschrieben. Jetzt würde ich mich freuen, wenn jmd von euch sie für mich kontrolliert. Bitte antwortet schnell, denn ich muss sie bis morgen kontrollieren. Danke

LG
Sherbek O.

...zum Beitrag

Englisch Text korriegieren

Hallo kann jemand folgenden Text korrigieren? Dankeschön Dear Ben Russell, I read your article “Credit cards to ration individuals' carbon use“, which is published in newspaper The Independent in July19,2006. First of all I want to say that I think it's very good that there are people like you who think about the environment and of course about the problems which are exist. The suggestion is that every body has a credit-card with Carbon Dioxide points and if someone travels, use electricity, gas or petrol with carbon rations they have to pay. There is a special amount of this points and if you need more than your personal cap you have to buy credits on the open market. On the other side if there are people who cut the pollution of the carbon they produce, they could sell their surplus. Mr Miliband also suggests that banning products like light bulbs or electrical appliances which waste power while on standby, have to forbid. Everyone have to make automatic payments of offset pollution. I think this credit cards are not a good idea, because there would be a discrimination, because on the one hand rich people wouldn't cut their consume because they have the money to buy this credits. The most of them wouldn't take care about the environment. On the other hand the poor people have to take care about their carbon use. They haven't got the money to buy new credits. The result would be that the poor people take care and the richer people don't take care. Now you can say that it's maybe not a completely good result but now there are a few people who take care. Better than no one. But what is if the poorer people have to use the car everyday because they have to drive to work. They have to pay that they are working. This wouldn't make work more attractive. The poorer people are disadvantaged. Another cause why this credit cards are not a good idea is that you can't control it. There would be a lot of situations where are disagreements. For example if people drive together to work. Now who have to pay with carbon for that? The driver or the other ones? Another fact is that you can't handle everything with money. Everyone has to pay that the environment become better. But money doesn't help. You can't stop the global warming with money. My idea is that there have to be recompenses for those people who do something against the environment problems. There have to be individual things, which make environment protection very attractive and also necessary. It's very important that everybody knows about the problems and the results if we go on like this. All in all I think it's very good that there are people who think about a solution and things that can be do to stop the global warming. Nevertheless I think the credit-cards and money wouldn't be a good solution

...zum Beitrag

Erörterung englisch überprüfen

hallo :) ich habe eine Erörterung zum Thema Schuluniformen für den englisch unterricht geschrieben, wäre cool wenn ihr mir Tipps zur Grammatik und vielleicht auch Ergänzungen sagen könntet. hier ist sie:

This comment will be about school uniforms. in the USA for example there are schools where you have to wear school uniforms and in germany you dont have to wear them. now the question is if we should introduce school uniforms in germany?

On the one hand school uniforms are very good. when everyone wears the same, nobody can say things because of their look like. so there is less bullying at school. nobody recognize if someone is poor or rich and it's easier for poorer people to find friends. In addition to this the students are a community. All of them are working together. Without school uniforms there are allways some outsider which have to work alone. the class is not divided into cool and not cool but there is a single group. also the school is represented by the students when they wear uniforms. all looks the same and the whole school hold together. everybody can see which school it is.

But on the other hand school uniforms are not very helpful. you can not wear what you want and you can not have your own style. But this is very important at this age. students have to develop their own personalities. moreover you can not stop bullying. maybe it is reduced by school uniforms but you can never stop it forever. there are students who does not look good with them or they are bullied because of their behavior. in addition, bullying takes place in the free time of students. so outsider are only in school protected. above all it is very expensive. families have to buy these uniforms and they are not cheap. when you have more than one child, it becomes more expensive. after school most of the students wear normal clothes. so you have to buy both - school uniforms and clothes for the free time. everyone changes the outfit once per day. it is very expensive for poor families. maybe their children have to wear the uniform the whole day.

danke schonmal:)

...zum Beitrag

Würde ich eine eins für mein comment bekommen?

Hey, würde mich gerne freuen wenn ihr mir eventuell Verbesserungsvorschläge gibt :) Vor allem bin ich mir bei meiner conclusion nicht sicher

Danke!

Should the British monarchy be abolished?

Lots of people argue about whether the British monarchy should be abolished or not since the Queen recently died.

Therefore, I will list arguments for and against the monarch so that you can form your own opinion.

On one hand, a monarch is seen as a representative of the country.

That is, he or she embodies traditional national values, unity and history.

This leads to stronger national identification and brings people closer together.

That is why many people say that a monarchy brings stability.

In addition, members of the royal family have important roles at the head of all kinds of charities, and because of their image and popularity, they help charities continue their good work.

Another positive aspect is that the British monarchy has shown that it is able to reform and adapt to modern times. An example of this would be that Prince Charles was allowed to marry a divorced women.

It can also be said that the queen or king is perhaps the most expensive monarch in Europe, but that does not mean that a president would be cheaper.

On the other hand, the monarch has no real political power, which means that his or her functions are mainly formal and could easily be taken away by other political bodies or an elected president.

Although many members of the Royal Family head charities they do not really engage in political work for those charities but rather serve as a kind of figurehead.

But it is precisely a monarchy that harms democracy, because the people cannot elect the head of state.

Also, a monarch has no consequences to face when making mistakes and since Britain is a hereditary monarchy, nobody knows whether the next monarch will have good or bad intentions.

Therefore, it can be said that the royal family is a symbol of an unjust and unequal society.

Weighing the pros and cons one come to the conclusion that the monarchy has many positive sides, for example, it brings stability or embodies history, but the negative sides mask this.

because since the country is a democracy, the monarchy should be abolished so that people can choose for themselves who should be the next monarch so that there is equality.

...zum Beitrag

Ist dieser Comment gut (sollte die Monarchie in der UK abgeschafft werden)?

The monarchy system is a hot topic in the UK, is it useful for the country or is it just for the show. Opinions often differ here, because there are many arguments pro and against this system. But what is the right answer.

On the one hand the Royal Family which is given by this system personifies the state and British nation, which represent it more human. Due to this more human presentive the people will be more connected to the government because many of the civilians got a member of the Royal Family as an idol which is also fine in view of the fact they exemplify British values like good manners, good style and honesty. Furthermore, by keeping this system, we also keep a part of history alive owing to the fact that the monarchy is no longer a widely used system.

On the other hand, there are many arguments against a monarchy system: It’s a life long burden for anyone who gets born into this, which is also against the spirit of democracy because their role is not earned but inherited. Additionally, they don’t have any power and are mainly there for the public eye, but this gets worse by the fact that if a member of the Royal Family does something wrong, the whole state will be ashamed and it will damage the national image of Britain. On top of that, you know the big palaces, the expensive cars and their wealth? This comes partly from slavery, oppression and discrimination.

All in all, you can say that the monarchy system has many reasons to be abolished but also many benefits. From my perspective it should be abolished, because it’s simply a show and doesn’t do anything for the country in a financial or lucrative way, furthermore we know that other countries like Germany has also a working system which doesn’t waste money for an unqualified family.

(Bitte schreibt mir Verbesserungsvorschläge)

...zum Beitrag

Wurde der Text Grammatikalisch richtig geschrieben?

Hello,

good Morning. My name ist ... ... and I would like to Tell you something about my favourite Shop today.

Real was established near Düsseldorf in Germany with 10 employees and many grocery Produce in 1992. What you think how many employees now work. Now work in the firm employees over 1500 staff in your all branch and have over 1.000.000 Produce what they sell.

Real is my favourite shop, because they have good Produce and nice employees. I buy in Real often Berliner and other produce.

The special of Real is they can find it overall.

Thank you for the listing. This is the end of my Prasentation.

...zum Beitrag

Englisch Vorteile und Nachteile vom berphmt sein!

Hey,

also ich habe hier Vor- und Nachteile über das berühmt sein geschrieben auf Englisch. Ich möchte nur das ihr schaut ob es mit der Grammatik und dem Satzbau so passt. Rechtschreibfehler müsst ihm mir nicht sagen :) Danke schon mal im Voraus.

On the one hand it is beautiful to be famous because you have much money and you can afford you everything. Secondly you're in the Center Point and everyone likes you except some. But on the other hand you don't have privacy, they know everything about you. You have to life in fear because there always people who are jealous on you. You don't can go out of the house and go somewhere without that someone recognize you. The magazines perhaps write something about you such as "Oh my good the plastic surgery went wrong" and you have to read it and can't say anything because they are allowed to write something like that. And finaly in most cases famous people access to drugs because they can't withstand the pressure anymore.

Andreeeea

...zum Beitrag

Is it important to have a role model (Blog)?

Hallo, könnte mir jemand Tipps geben oder meinen Blog korrigieren? Danke.

For me a Role Model doesn't have to be a hero or a singer, a Role Model can be a family member or even your best friend, but not everyone has a role model.

I don‘t really have a role model, just because i don‘t like to compare myself with someone else or be someone else..

The problem is that in today's society it's not easy to tell if a person is a role model or not.

Almost all influencers are fake, they just want the money they get, and many teenagers don't see that.

Zach Hanf, a 18 year old boy lost his leg, because of a car accident.

He was driving on Rt. 13 in Perry Country with his girlfriend and drifted left of the center and crashed into a refrigerated box truck.

At this moment his life changed!

Hanf wanted to be a trauma surgeon, but because of his accident it‘s not that easy anymore.

But the boy believes in his dream and is ambitious and continues to try to achieve his goal.

I think he is a real role model, despite his accident just to continue as if it had not been happen, is incredible.

So the question is, is it important to have a role model?

The answer is yes, for example Zach Hanf is a strong and confident boy, who lost his leg, but did not change his plans.

Teenager should do the same, if something bad happens, they should still try to reach their goals.

A role model in your life is always a good idea to inspire yourself

and you get to learn from their mistakes.

All together you will be the best of yourself!

...zum Beitrag

Hallo Community! könnt ihr meinen Comment durchlesen und mir Rückmeldung geben?

Ich versuche mich gerade an meinen Englischhausaufgaben - einen Comment über das Thema "criminal responsibility at the age of 10".

Dies ist mein Comment:

Write a comment - Criminal responsibility at the age of 10?

Nowadays many people think that the criminal responsibility should be set to the age of 10 in Germany. Is that right?

On one hand are children at the age of 10 too young for prison. They don’t know the consequences of what they are doing. Or did you know at this age which punishment you get for e.g. for shoplifting? But on the other hand it’s unfair that younger people have no criminal responsibility. I am convinced that we must set an example. The problem is that a lot of children are criminal because they know they can’t get punished. So I think they have to learn to bear responsibility earlier because they shouldn’t get into trouble. The next point I want to mention is if they know what is allowed to do and which punishment they will get for which kind of crime, they will be scared off. So the risk that they will get criminal in the future could be minimised. But what is also to do? In my point of view punishment by oneself can’t help alone. The children have to be taught this in school and by their parents.

I come to the conclusion that this law would help but we have to do more than just changing a law. Also I think that the age of criminal responsibility should be set to the age of 12 because in my opinion the age of 10 is too young.

Ich würde mich sehr über Tipps und auch jegliche Kritik freuen! LG moriarty123

...zum Beitrag

Morgen mündliche Englisch Realschulprüfung, Text Korrektur

Hallo, ich habe morgen meine mündliche Realschulprüfung. Wir haben heute die Aufgabe für die Kurzpresentation(2-3min.) bekommen und wollte eure Meinung wissen. Es geht um ,,My Dream Job,, Hier ist der Text: My dream job Now I will tell you something about my dream job. My dream is to be a police officer because the uniform gives me strength. When I was a child I always wanted to arrest criminals to secure the city. I had three weeks internship at the police station and it was very interesting. So I can imagine to work as a cop. There are many departments in this job. Once the police protection, second the criminal police and finally the district police. The police protection has many interesting activities. They are called to inserts, to traffic accidents but anyway it is very dangerous because they arrest criminals. The criminal police is also an interesting department. They consult witnesses, they consult victims of crime, write reports and they are civil. That’s very important so they are not recognized by the criminals. The district police is something for older cops because they don’t have much action. They attend schools and speak with the pupils. That is not a thing for me. I want to work more at the police protection because it is very interesting. In this job you can earn about 2000 € a month. But it also can increase. That was my presentation about my dream job.

...zum Beitrag

Frage zu Englisch?

Hii, ich habe eine Frage zu Englisch. Kann pls jmd drüber lesen (ob Grammatik& Rechtschreibfehler sind). das ist eine summary

The text "America and Americans" was written by John Steinbeck. As the title suggests, the text is about the Americans, the past and the American dream.

The author introduces the text with a quote. The quote is "E pluribus Unum". This is the motto of the United States and it corresponds to the fact. America is a country where many different people live together, of all races. America is a unit and came into being in just over four hundred years.

The beginning of American history is not a good start. America was a foreign continent for the ancestors. Some people were not in America by choice. They had to work very hard to build up the country. Furthermore, there are diseases that were unexplored at the time. There are people who die because of it. So much work is needed to build America to make it the country it is today.

The author then writes about the disagreements Americans have with themselves. Americans often change their minds. For example, Americans are sometimes against the government, but sometimes for it. They don't know what exactly they want.

Furthermore, the American people have achieved a great deal in the past. They do a lot, but when they get tired of being successful they prefer to think about what makes them unhappy. Americans live paradoxically.

The author also writes that the people who live in American high society are not advanced in their thoughts. For example, a man needs electricity every day but doesn't know how to fix the problem if the fuse breaks.

In addition, it has become American culture that the child must be educated in a family. The parents assume it and want the child to be successful. It's their dream.

...zum Beitrag

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