Ich muss einen Englisch Text über Superhelden?
Meiner erste bitte wäre das einer vielleicht sehr gut in Englisch ist und eventuelle Fehler ausbessern könnte
Mein zweiter ist, das ich noch einen Superhelden Name brauche
Ich kopiere euch den Text hier rein:
My Superhero Story
Hello! I am _________, or should i say, Johanna? At day i am Johanna but when the world is in danger i am ________!
I have some super powers (like extreme tempo or that I can turn myself into animals) and in many situations, i discover new one! I am a normal girl and I lived in a normal family (the don´t know about my powers!), and i am happy with it.
I have many superenemys but one specially is the little fighting dwarf, and i am on the way to find out who her or him is!
It begans all one day, after the school, when i walked home. I saw a cat, and then i was a cat! I know that´s hearing bored and unspecial, but i am suprised about this! I don´t know where the power came from, and why i have them, but i knew the powers couldn´t help me to be better in English.
One day my super- enemy, little fighting dwarf, attacked in school. I put my clothes on and- BAAMM! I was ________! My super enemy has a cool costume, and still thinks thats nice! But this day, little fighting dwarf, brings support! But it doesn´t helps, he lost fast. It thinks, his machine can make my powers lost, but it was defekt so her plan was failed.
Before she can run away, i put her costume out, and i saw it was Nicole! She was perfect for this (because of her evil person and little size), why did i find this out so late? „So, little fighting dwarf, you are Nicole?“, but i looked just a few seconds around and she was lost. After this days, i never saw Nicole or little fighting dwarf again…
The result was that the school kids are safe but our englisch teacher was shocked like all, but I put out their memories about it (another superpower of mine) so that everything went well!
And thats the story of ______
3 Antworten
Hallo,
erstmals: i schreibt man immer GROSS, also I = I am...
and in new situations I discover new abilities
Du kannst nicht sagen: "I am a normal girl and I lived in a normal family"
korrekt wäre: I am a normal girl and I have been living in a normal family up to now!
enemies (Plural von enemy!!!)
It all began some day after shool as I was walking home. I saw a cat, and suddenly I transformed myself into a cat! I know that sounds boring or conventional, but I was surprised at this happening so quickly.
I have many super enemies, but one especially has drawn my attention: Little Fighting Dwarf. I am about to find out who he or she is!
In fact I don´t know at all where this ability comes from and why I have it! Anyway, I know that this ability to transform myself can´t help me to amliorate my english!
Some day, one of my super enemies, the bold, Little Fighting Dwarf, attacked me when I was at school. (der kommende Abschnitt ist nicht verständlich! Du solltest ihn umarbeiten...)
Deine Schreibweise ist zu spontan, du meinst, du könntest Englisch, aber deine Kenntnisse sind leider bruchstückhaft! Du schaust wahrscheinlich nicht mal ins Wörterbuch, wenn du Zweifel an die Rechtsschreibung eines Wortes hast!
Kauf dir ein Duden, ein Wörterbuch Englisch-Englisch und ein Wörterbuch Englisch-Deutsch/Deutsch-Englisch, diese Wörterbücher sollten keine abgekürtzten Versionen sein, weil sie dir noch bis zur Mittleren Reife oder weiter (?) helfen werden!
Du solltest mehr lesen (vorwiegend Englischtexte), es gibt sogar Englischkurse im Fernsehen! Das ist gratis!
Ohne ein bißchen Arbeit kommst du leider nicht weiter!
Alles Gute, Emmy
Ok....here ein paar Aenderungen bzw. Verbesserungen.
I have super powers (like extreme speed or that I can transform myself into animals) and in different situations I discover new ones. I grew up as a normal girl in an ordinary family (they don't know about my powers!) and I am happy with it.
There are many mutants that are my enemies, especially a fighting dwarf, and I was on the way to find out who he or she is!
It all started one day after school, while walking home. I saw a cat and suddenly I transformed into a cat. I know that sounds unbelievable, but I was surprised as well.
I don't know where the powers came from and why I have them, but I know they are not helping me to improve my English.
One day little fighting dwarf attacked in school. I changed my clothes and.... BAAMM! I was .......!
Vermerk: der naechste Satz wiederspricht sich. Du sagst das Kostuem ist 'cool', also stimmst Du ueberein, dass es gut ausschaut bzw. positiv ist. Also keine Ahnung was Du genau schreiben willst oder ob es notwendig ist.
One day little fighting dwarf brought a special device. But it didn't help, he lost fast! He thought the machine would take away my powers, but it was defective, so the plan failed.
Before he was able to run away I took of the masc and discovered that the dwarf was Nicole! The costume was perfect for her (fitting for her evil personality and her little size). Why did I find this out so late? I said: "So, little fighting dwarf, you are Nicole!" I looked away for just a few seconds and she was gone. After this day, I never saw little fighting dwarf aka Nicole again.
All the kids were safe from that moment on. Our English teacher was shocked like everyone else witnessing the whole fight, but I was able to take those specific memories so everything seemed like it never happened.
And that's the story of ______
I transformed myseld into a cat! I took off the mask! Small size!
How about the name: megasonic fightress? Sounds fancy, doesn't it? Aber was die korrektur anbelangt, können wir nicjt die ganze Arbeit für dich machen. Ich würde es so gut wie möglich einreichen und dann im Nachhinein die Korrektur mit deiner Lehrerin durchsprechen. Du hast da wirklich einen tollen langen Text geschrieben, aber ganz ohne Gramatik Fehler ist er nicht. Zur Rechtschreibung kann ich nicht viel sagen, ich habe leider Legasthenie. Mach weiter und beschäftige dich viel mit der Englischen Sprache, dann geht es bald ganz von alleine.
So was wie "fightress" habe ich noch nie gelesen/gehört... female fighter scheint mir ädequater…
ameliorate my english...