Englisch Text zu einem Cartoon?

Hallo, kann sich wer bitte meinen Text mal anschauen und mir ein Feedback bezüglich Fehler Aufbau Inhalt geben. Im Anhang habe ich auch das Lösungsblatt angefügt.

Dear readers,

in the following text I speak about the topic the role of sports among young people. The text based on the cartoon from pinterest. The role of sports in children‘s life has changed.

The cartoon shows two parts divided into the years 1998 and 2018. In the forderground of the part of 1998 can you see a mother, who stops a boy. Next to the boy is a ball. The mother pulls hin in the house against he will. The part two of year 2018 shows the mother with the boy too. But the mother pulls the boy out of the house against he will. The Boy is holding a game console in his hands. In both parts acts the mother vigorously to get him in and out of the house. Furthermore can you see in both parts, that the boy does not seem pleased to have to finish his activity.

I think the cartoonist is intended to show, that the young generation spend variously sporty activities in the past and today. In year 1988 the boy wants to spend his free time outside playing ball games. The boy in year 2018 wants to play games inside on his game console.

I agree with the cartoonist, because playing online games are very popular at present and are the new trend under young people. A lot of teenager spend a lot of time inside and playing game console. But this have for the young generation negative consequenses. I think playing online games are very bad for the Health of young generation. Because of, the people get not enough movement and this can lead for example to overwight. On the top the youngs start to meet gaming friends instead of their real friends. Through this the youngs lost the realitiy. An another big consequense is that the childrens could become a addict. So, the young generation get not even physical but also a mental health problem.

In summary I can say that the kind of doing sport are different in the past and now. Today, the role of sport for childrens focused in playing online games.

Bild zum Beitrag
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English Korektur?

Hallo könnt ihr mal schauen ob Fehler enthalten sind. Hat wer verbessungsideen?

welche Note würdet ihr geben (Gymnasium 11 Klasse)

In the following text, I give you an insight into myself and my free time activities: 

First, I want to introduce myself. My name is __ I’m currently eighteen years old. I was born on March 16, 2004, in the hospital of __. Since my birth, I live in a small district of ___, called __. I live there with my fatherand my sister, who is one year younger than me. She looks like me and we have an excellent relationship. Furthermore, I have an older brother who lives in __ with her wife and my niece. Before I went to ___ school, I was at the secondary school in ___ and completed my secondary school certificate there. Now I tell you more about my character. I am a friendly person who can empathize well with others. Additionally, my family and friends particularly appreciate my sense of responsibility because they can always rely on me. On the top of  that, I am also an organizational talent. My daily routine, for example, is very structured because I write to-do lists in order to keep an overview of everything. Last but not least, my creative side is one of my greatest strengths, which reflects who I am. This is a good point to redirect to my hobbies, because being creative takes up a lot of my free time, especially drawing and designing. This hobby relaxes me and makes me fun at the same time. Moreover, I love shopping, particularly in online shops. I spend a lot of time on the internet to buy clothes, which I like, but it makes me a little poor too. Another free time activity of me is reading books. My favourite genre of books is thrillers. I like this genre, because the tension doesn't get lost and such the interest in reading keeps maintained until the end. At the moment I read the book Layla from Colleen Hover and so far, I like it. 

In short, I am a responsible and efficient person with a variety of interests and creative talents. 

 

 

 

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