Zur Übung habe ich eine Charakterisierung geschrieben,wäre toll wenn ihr mir sagen würdet was ich besser machen kann.

DANKE im voraus :)

In the following text I`m describing Angus Bethune,a fat kid and outsider.He goes at the Lake Michigan High School and dreams of his "moment".He gets it at the dance floor of his school,at the Winter Ball with the winter ball queen Melissa Lefevre,a girl he fell in love in the kinder garden.He´s the Winter Ball king,because of Rick Sanford,Melissa's boyfriend,a rich and rude boy.He gives the pupils money for voting Angus as the Winter Ball king.Now Angus has to dance with her,a girl he has never talk to.And the worst thing:he can't dance but he is a very good footballer and fighter.When they dances,Melissa's boyfriend sees them,he he's drunk,so he says bitch to Melissa and wants to fight with Angus.