Englisch Written Discusion Verbesserungsvorschläge?
Danke schon mal im Voraus
Boot camps
In America teenagers who can‘t behave are send to boot csmps by there parents.
The teenagers go for 5 months to the boot camp and learn there discipline, the boot camp help them to get back on the right path and straighten up there life. When the teenagers arrive at the boot camp, the drill instructors will teach them the rules, one of this rules is, that you can only answer with sir, yes sir or madam, yes madam.
Some people say that boot camps are a good idea. Is it a good idea to send teenagers who vandalise and can’t behave to send them to a boot camp? There are advantages and disadvantages . The first argument is that boot camps help people to stay out of trouble and help them to get back on the right path and straighten up there life. The second argument is that the teenagers learn to follow the rules, discipline and respect. The third argument is, teenagers don’t go in the prison. On the other hand there are disadvantages. The first argument is, teenagers soon forget about boot camp and get in trouble again. Another argument is boot camps do not solve the problems at home or school, for example the family have money problems or they are bullied at school, because they don’t do anything illegal, such as tailing drugs or dell with drugs. The last argument is that the boot camp can teenagers make Ill and they can get a trauma. After looking at both sides, I think boot camps are not a good idea, because the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
2 Antworten
Hallo,
In America Komma teenagers who can‘t behave are send (Grammatik) to boot csmps (RS) by there (Grammatik) parents.
The teenagers go for 5 months to the boot camp (Warum hier Singular) and learn there discipline, - falsche Satzstellung!
the boot camp help (Grammatik) them to get back on the right path and straighten up there (Grammatik) life.
Bei so vielen Fehlern allein in den ersten 3 Zeilen breche ich das Korrekturlesen an dieser Stelle ab.
Überarbeite deinen Text noch einmal in Ruhe und stelle ihn dann hier noch einmal ein. Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com, für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.
AstridDerPu
Boot camps
In America teenagers who can‘t behave are sent to boot camps by their parents.
The teenagers go f̶o̶r̶ ̶5̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶t̶h̶s̶ to the boot camp for 5 months and/to learn th̶e̶r̶e̶ discipline there. The boot camp helps them to get back on the right path and straighten up their life. When the teenagers arrive at the boot camp, the drill instructors will teach them the rules. One of these rules is that you can only answer with sir, yes sir, or madam, yes madam.
Some people say that boot camps are a good idea. Is it a good idea to send teenagers who vandalise and can’t behave to a boot camp? There are advantages and disadvantages. The first argument is that boot camps help people to stay out of trouble and (help them) to get back on the right path and straighten up their life (Dopplung!). The second argument is that the teenagers learn to follow the rules, discipline and respect. The third argument is that teenagers don’t go to prison. On the other hand, there are disadvantages. The first argument is that teenagers soon forget about the boot camp and get into trouble again. Another argument is that boot camps do not solve the problems at home or school, for example that the family could have money problems or that they're bullied at school because they don’t do anything illegal, such as tailing or dealing with drugs. The last argument is that the boot camp can make teenagers ill and they could get a trauma. After looking at both sides, I think boot camps are not a good idea because the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
:)
Habe am Ende die Korrekturen nicht mehr fett geschrieben, aber du findest dich bestimmt zurecht. Hast du Fragen?
Ich habe keine Fragen mehr und nochmals Danke.