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The Infamous Tragic Of People.

Romeo, a young man who falls in love.

Juliet, a young woman and the sweetheart of Romeo.

Ophelia, a former lover of Hamlet.

Hamlet, a prince of Denmark.

Shylock, a Jewish money-lender.

Act I: Hamlet admires Juliet and Ophelia.

Scene I: Hamlet praises Juliet and Ophelia.

[Enter Hamlet and Juliet]

Hamlet:

You are as sweet as the sum of an amazing beautiful lovely rose and a warm sunny lovely summer's day.

[Exit Juliet]

[Enter Ophelia]

Hamlet:

You are as sweet as Juliet!

Thou art as brave as the product of you and the sum of a brave charming hero and a King.

[Exit Ophelia]

Scene II: The appearence of Romeo.

[Enter Romeo]

Hamlet:

You are as honest as the sum of Ophelia and her evil devil.

Speak thy mind!

[Exit Romeo]

[Exeunt]

Act II: Ophelia insults Shylock and praises Juliet.

Scene I: The insulting of Shylock.

[Enter Ophelia and Shylock]

Ophelia:

You lying bad horrible coward.

You are as bad as the difference between you and a bastard

You are as horrible as the product of you and yourself

You are as miserable as the sum of you and a smelly bastard

Open your heart!

You are absolutely as normal as the product of Juliet and a cute pony. Speak thy mind!

You are nothing! Open your heart!

You are really nothing! Open your heart!

[Exit Shylock]

Scene II: The praising of Juliet.

[Enter Juliet]

Ophelia:

You are as cute as the difference between the sum of the sum of you and yourself and you and a beautiful pony!

Speak your mind!

[Exeunt]

Scene III: Shylock unsuccessfully flatters Ophelia.

[Enter Ophelia and Shylock]

Shylock:

thou are as cute as the difference between thou and a golden rich pretty brave King

you are as cute as the sum of a rotten devil and yourself

thee are as cute as the product of you and the sum of an honest hero and a King

Open your heart!

[Exeunt]

Scene IV: Hamlet, Romeo and Shylock.

[Enter Hamlet and Romeo]

Romeo:

thee art as tiny as the difference between myself and Juliet!

Speak your mind!

Hamlet:

You are as honest as the difference between the sum of myself and the quotient between yourself and a clearest Heaven and a brave Lord!

Speak your mind!

[Exit Romeo]

[Enter Shylock]

Hamlet:

Open your heart!

you are as stupid as the sum of the quotient between myself and a delicious plum and a goat

Open your heart!

you are as rotten as the sum of yourself and a codpiece!

[Exit Shylock]

[Enter Juliet]

Hamlet:

Speak your mind!

you are as pretty as the sum of the sum of the product of Shylock and myself and Ophelia and a Lord.

Open your heart!

[Exeunt]