Englisch Motivationsschreiben Erasmus+ - Verbesserungsvorschläge
Hallo! wäre nett wenn Ihr meinen Text durchlesen würdet und mir sagen könntet, was ich daran noch besser machen kann. Es handelt sich um ein Motivationsschreiben für ein Erasmus Semester an einer englischen Universität. Das ist ziemlich wichtig für mich und ich möchte ein möglichst gutes Motivationsschreiben abgeben. Danke im Voraus!
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to introduce myself as proper candidate for an Erasmus+ semester abroad (spring term and summer term) at [name of university]. My name is [name] and I am currently studying architecture in my X semester at [name of university] in [country].
As I have always planned to spend a semester abroad I am very happy to use the opportunities given to us by the Erasmus+ programme. I chose [name of university] because I am particularly interested in spending a semester (or two terms) at an English-speaking university. I think this is a unique opportunity to combine my studies with first-hand experience of life in an English-speaking country. As a prospective architect it is very important to work on an international level. Alongside improving my spoken and written English especially in this area, I also hope to gain insight in British culture and history and how architectural issues are seen in this context.
Before I decided to study architecture I passed my A-level at [name of secondary school] with superior success. This included reaching CEFR level B2/C1 in English. Since I attended Tourism School I have always been interested in foreign cultures. I am an open-minded person who likes to make friends with people from all over the world. This is also one of the reasons why I chose [name of university]. Among all partner universities of [home univeristy], [name of university] offers the largest international community. I also look forward to learning from professionals with industry experience as well as working and studying in lively and creative environment at the Faculty of Arts.
Finally, I believe an [name of university] is the excellent place for my Erasmus+ semester. The experience I can get studying in a foreign country would be valuable for both my studies and personal development. So, I am ready and willing to take on new challenges.
Thank you for your attention.
Yours faithfully,
3 Antworten
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to introduce myself as Hier fehlt ein Artikel. proper candidate for an Erasmus+ semester abroad (spring term and summer term) at [name of university]. My name is [name] and I am currently studying architecture in my X semester at [name of university] in [country].
As I have always planned to spend a semester abroad I am very happy to use the opportunities given to us by the Erasmus+ programme. I chose [name of university] because I am particularly interested in spending a semester (or two terms) at an English-speaking university. I think this is a unique opportunity to combine my studies with first-hand experience of life in an English-speaking country. As a prospective architect it is very important to work on an international level. Alongside improving my spoken and written English especially in this area, I also hope to gain insight in British culture and history and how architectural issues are seen in this context.
Before I decided to study architecture Komma I passed my A-level at [name of secondary school] with superior success. This included reaching CEFR level B2/C1 in English. Since I attended Tourism School Komma I have always been interested in foreign cultures. I am an open-minded person who likes to make friends with people from all over the world. This is also one of the reasons why I chose [name of university]. Among all partner universities of [home univeristy], [name of university] offers the largest international community. I also look forward to learning from professionals with industry experience as well as working and studying in Hier fehlt ein Artikel. lively and creative environment at the Faculty of Arts.
Finally, I believe an [name of university] is the excellent place for my Erasmus+ semester. The experience I can get studying in a foreign country would be valuable for both my studies and personal development. So (kein optimaler Satzanfang), I am ready and willing to take on new challenges.
Thank you for your attention.
Yours faithfully,
Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.
AstridDerPu
Hi.
Das! Gefällt! Mir!
Aus meiner Sicht nur Kleinigkeiten:
-very important for me to work ...
-insight into
-Komma hinter "architecture" ("Before"-Nebensatz)
-mit "industry experience" bin ich nicht ganz glücklich, kenne aber das Umfeld nicht
-in a lively environment
-Finally, I believe XY is an excellent place
Good luck - sieht so aus, als könntest Du's haben
earnest
AstridDerPu und earnest haben sich ja schon um das Sprachliche gekümmert, daher von mir nur ein paar inhaltliche Punkte:
Hast du wirklich an einer britischen Schule die A-Levels absolviert, oder hast du das das deutsche Abitur? Es ist nicht üblich, Abschlüsse zu übersetzen, da sie einander nicht entsprechen. Dadurch wird die Information verzerrt. In der Regel schreibt man: I passed the German Abitur (comparable to British A-Levels).....
Du bleibst recht allgemein, wenn es darum geht, warum du an dieser bestimmten Uni studieren willst. Dein Brief ließe sich auf jede Uni anwenden, das mögen Universitäten nicht. Informiere dich online über Forschungschwerpunkte, die die jeweilige Universität in deinem Bereich setzt und beziehe dich darauf.
Ich wünsche dir viel Erfolg!
Hast Recht, Larinka.
Sinnvolle und notwendige Ergänzung.
(6 Augen sehen mehr als 4.)