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I'd like to tell you something about myself and my family. First of all, I'll tell you something about me. My name is Lea, I'm 15 and i was born on the 21st February 2000 in Ben. After grade 8 my family moved to [town] which is a small village. I attend [school's name] and hope to graduate there. I'd like to graduate middle school at a vacational school. I'm still trying to figure out what kind of job I can imagine myself doing. In my free time I enjoy a lot of things, such as dancing, karate, shopping and of course, meeting my friends.I grew up with my mom, S, born on the 21st September 1976 in [town] being a [job] and my dad, J, born December 1st 1070 in [town]. My dad actually had a lot of jobs, i.e. cook, tattoer or carsharer. My mom works as a [job]. Because her parents are from Serbia, she can also speak Serbian.Besides me my parents had two more children: First my big brother, L, who's 16 yrs old and attends highschool right now. He enjoys partying, sports and meeting his friends. Second my little sister S, who's 11 years old and in grade six. She really likes sports such as swimming or gymnastics.A year ago my parents split up. My dad's got a new girlfriend named Diana and I've got a little stepsister now. She's called [name] and only three years old.Of course, my family also consists of my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents, but the people I told you about are the people I live with on a daily base. We've got a quite nice accomodation in [town] where we live altogether.Nicht sicher, ob noch alle Fakten passen... :) Sprachlich etwas flüssiger und etwas ansprechender gegliedert.

Vielleicht kann man deine Is ein wenig reduzieren. ''I lived in (ort)for six years and I've been at the school there till grade 8.''  For six years, I've been at the school there till grade 8. Das Alter meiner Geschwister würde ich angeben, aber Geburstdaten, wenn sie nicht zwingend verlangt werden, weglassen und muss man unbedingt die namen angeben?

''At the moment I'm still at the Strombergschool ort..n. I want to graduate on this school and then i will make my realschoolgraduation at a vacational school. '' My actual school is the Strombergschool. After graduating this school I want to changeto a vacational school and absolve my realschoolgraduation there.

Finally I will tell you something about my brother and sister. My brother...and my sister...


leandra12 
Fragesteller
 17.03.2015, 13:00

Dankeschön ja wie soll ich des reduzieren? Und nein wird nicht verlangt aber ich muss ja schaffen auf 5 min zu kommen hätte st du nich paar tipps ob ich noch was reinpacken sollte oder mir sagen könntest ob es einigermaßen gut ist damit ich etwas beruhigt wäre danke

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leandra12 
Fragesteller
 17.03.2015, 13:01
@leandra12

Ja und ich denke den namen muss man angeben es geht ja um meine familie :)

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